So much has happened

I realize it's been a little while since I've written.  So much has happened and the time has flown by.  I started stims on 5/7.  My baseline that morning showed no cysts, but they said my lining was a little thick so I thought I would get pushed out a day.  I was shocked when I got the call to start.  I was on 150 Gonal-F and 1 vial of Menopur.  The first night went really smooth and it didn't hurt.  The second night I got a little messed up when hubby was observing and apparently the needle wasn't screwed on all the way and I lost a bit of meds.  After that I had it down to a science.

My first monitoring was on 5/11 and they said my lining looked good and I had 4 follies around 8mm and 5 less than 8.  Sunday, 5/13 was my next appointment.  At that time I had 5 that were over 8mm.  I was told to start Ganirelix that evening and return on Tuesday.  The next appointment had 8 over 8mm and  a few smaller ones.  I was a bit dissappointed as I was hoping for a lot of follies.  I returned the next day and they grew with the largest being 22 and the smallest measured being 10.5, still a total of 8.  I was told I probably wouldn't trigger that night, which bummed me out somemore as I was hoping to trigger Wednesday evening for a Friday retrieval.  But I had to do what was best for my eggs.  Thursday was the final follie check.  My lining looked fantastic and I had 12 follies with 4 most likely not mature enough and 8 decent sized ones.  Hubby gave me the HCG trigger shot on Thursday night at 10:45pm.  He was so nervous and shaking, but I talked him through it and he did great!

Friday morning we arrived at the clinic at 8:15 with specimen in tow.  I was fairly nervous.  I knew we didn't have a huge amount of follies so I was scared of not having many eggs.  I knew that not all would be mature and not all would fertilize.  Hubby did his best to calm my nerves, telling me that it was going to be great.  I have to say, he's been my rock through this past year.

I was taken into pre-op aroung 8:30, changed into a gown.  They wrapped me in a heated blanket which was so nice.  Took my vitals where my pulse was 115...I guess I was nervous.  I was brought into the operating room at around 9:15 and quickly sedated.  Before I knew it I was in recovery.  Hubby came in and I was a little groggy, but felt good.  They told me they got 8 eggs.  I was pleased with this as I was expecting about 7.  A little while later, I was released and off to the couch I went.  Post procedure I had some cramping and it was uncomfortable to go to the bathroom, but overall I felt good.

This morning we were so anxious to get our fertilization report.  It was the longest morning ever.  The phone rang a little after 10 am.  Nurse Jackie was on the other end and told me that of the 8...6 were mature and 5 fertilized.  I was happy with this, but as time is passing I'm getting scared.  I'm scared that they will start dropping like flies after today.  I was hoping for a 5DT and will know tomorrow for sure which we will be doing.  Please keep growing little embies....PLEASE.

This whole process has been crazy and stressful and a long rollercoaster of emotions.  I'm just hoping and praying for a happy ending.

Getting Close!

Just two short days from today I will be going for my baseline testing.  Hopefully we will get the thumbs up to start stims that evening and I'm really hoping that I stay on track with the calendar my nurse laid out.  My ER is estimated to be on Friday 5/18 and I have an important meeting on the 17th.  I will have a talk with my boss this week to see what our backup plan is for if I get moved up a day.  I'm sure it will be fine.  He knows that I'm doing this, but he doesn't know the dates.  I will lay everything out for him and tell him how it's expected to go.  I'm lucky to be able to be flexible with my hours when needed.  It's never a problem to take time off....well as long as there's a good reason, which this is.

In other news, we've been waiting on the edge of our seats for the results of hubby's semen analysis.  He went in on 4/25 and they told us that the results would be back in a week and then my doctor has to review them.  My nurse said to call on the 3rd for the results.  I did this and was told that he hadn't reviewed them and won't be back in the office until Monday.  We were so upset that we had to wait another 4 days.  Hubby said to me that he will be really upset if he's the problem.  I told him that he's most likely normal since he got me pregnant 3 times.  Then I said that we already know that I'm the one with the issue and all of this is my fault.  He assured me that he doesn't think of it that way in the least.  I love that he tries to make me feel better, but it's just a fact that I'm the defective one.  So anyway, I get a call this morning and when I answered the phone it was my Dr.  My heart jumped in my throat and I was prepared for bad news.  Afterall, it had to be bad for him to call me on a Saturday.  He said his results were totally NORMAL!  Hubby was so so happy.  He started asking what the numbers were and if it was high.  I laughed and said I didn't ask, but it didn't matter.  I will be asking my nurse for the specifics on Monday though.

I've filled my Mom and MIL in on the fact that we're starting IVF.  They don't have specific dates, but they are aware.  I figured it would be best to let them know.  I may need their support and I know that they're willing to help in any way they can. 

Mother's Day is next weekend and I'm pretty bummed that I should either have a baby in my arms, be about to pop or be growing a baby in my belly.  I don't plan to bring up the fact that I beleive I am a mother, but I will celebrate my own motherhood.  Afterall, I was the best mom I could be to my angels.  The moment I knew of them, I cared for them the best that I could.  I would have done anything to save them and miss them terribly.