Sunday, April 22, 2012
Anxious and scared
2 weeks from tomorrow I officially start stims. I'm so scared. I've been scared all along, but the excitement was kind of overriding it. This weekend I've spent more than an acceptable amount of time googling what the chances are of having this end in another ectopic. While the chance is significantly less than me trying on my own, it's still higher than for a normal person. I was also trying to find a name for my malfunctioning tubes. Like a disease name...besides just saying my tubes don't work. I have a hard time accepting this even after everything I've been through. But how can they just not work? They are open, they look healthy...WTF?! It's not fair! I hate pity parties, but I guess that's what I'm throwing for myself this weekend. What if this doesn't work? What if I don't stim well? What if my eggs are crap? What if my embies don't make it? What if .....?
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Its just human nature to ask all those "What If" questions. Im right there with you....As hard as it is, try not to worry about all those questions about what could and couldnt happen. Take it one day at a time and youll get through. Good luck with stimming. It gets easier as the days pass.
ReplyDeleteWhat if's are normal. I think that no matter what we will always ask what if. Looks like I start stims the same time you do! Best of luck to you, I hope we both get our may babies!!!
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